There are many ways in which you may look at what is happening to this country, and all of them only make you wonder “Am I insane to view things in such way?”
I believe what is happening to Iran right now is perhaps one of the most complex stories of all times and the resolution to it will shock everybody. I do not see hope and a bright ending myself but there are many who do. We have to see how this shall end. The amount of misinformation and propaganda is unheard of and I do wonder to what height, and width my world view is fake and made up.
Given all that I said however; the story of what happened to me personally was quite strange and what you could not make up.
Things began as I went to the military camp so that I could get a job at FANAP and bypass the expected military service that I was supposed to undergo. It was the beginning of my second week; military training is harsh and I had some great difficulty adjusting to the program. One of these great problems was my inability to control my movements. Given the complex traumas I have; for the past three or four years I have developed some form of psychosomatic pain that is being always ready for some kind of an attack; shaking all the time; not knowing what is about to happen next and what maybe of all of this.
One of the things that I learned so very late about myself is how much talent I had for humanist studies; I’m a natural philosopher; I could have been great at psychoanalysis; I always had a thing for the history of technology and I have been great at it, but then, I never got the chance to embrace it — till now of course with the job that I have at 1285.
I really absolutely wish these days end with the best of outcomes possible. I do not want to see the following days to be the end of my life and wishes.
Zea brushing her teeth in the morning. We were at this house at lafour for the night with Zea and Fateme. We were confused, the people were sad because of the war, and yet the place was a paradise. The sheer amount of irony was indescribable.