One thing I have to have in my theory, is how much someone’s contributions is amazing given the graph they had. Imagine if someone arrives at a new amazing theory with only two books read, and someone arrive at a nice idea with a library.
Somedays I think there is something so very important in my mind that I just have to express, put on paper, capture. Something in making for almost all of my life. Whatever that I write is a part of it. And then every now and then I think it is only to keep myself preoccupied, and that I should just abandon it all and go live a normal life. Enjoy the moments. I just don’t know what is right.
I have put my parents at much financial trouble. Fuck me.
All the very small sounds of people breathing, chewing, all the swallowing noises, they put me at rage.