I miss my Kamwa .
The worst thing about Kamwa ’s death, is how innocent and little he was. I had to protect him and I failed. And now nothing brings him back. No matter how much I write about him.
The “only communication can communicate” shows itself here. The language of talking about Kamwa and my watching his videos are a whole different thing than him, himself. Sometimes I think looking at these videos makes me more distant from him than before.
Voyager’s message for aliens had to be a few videos of Kamwa . He truly was the best this planet had to offer.
Listening to a very old version of my Second Ocean piece (a modern orchestral composition), and it seems I have made some staccato strings in background, arpeggiating a simple pattern in the background that is mixed with a Hi-Hat and some kick in the drums kit, making it another instrument of the drums kit. They are so intertwined you cannot separate the drums from the strings. I was for a second surprised by my old self.
Thinking about my Concerto Piano No.1, Op. 11: I. Allegretto con moto ; I guess it is like this: A stormy world presented by the strings section (very intense layers of staccatos in varying speeds and motifs on each clef), and a pure, stable woodwind section (flutes and clarinets) moving slowly and majestically through the storm of the strings. The woodwind not bending, and keep going, keep being itself. Something I had never noticed about my music.
I guess one aspect of my admiration towards the concerto form is one virtuoso against a whole orchestra… my philosophy of life…
Like all other things that I did in my life, in my music, I tried to remove any element that felt I’m writing Iranian music. And so, like everything else that I have made in my life, the music does not belong to anywhere, and therefore to everywhere.
Why is it, that blue is the best color for writing on paper? All other colors feel wrong.
I have said that I cannot summarize, and that I write messy. What you need to know is that I have been a great writer, and I can absolutely summarize. But then with the Archive , I understood that so much would be lost. And so I deliberately designed this place for not loosing things. And I don’t polish to less pretend, I want a more pure and intimate reading of my work.
So the Sharif Box didn’t live up to their promises and went back on their promise of 500,000,000 romans for the whole third months and they now want the same amount of money per month. Back to square one.
I got the Nook finally. It is so beautiful. I love it so much!
I saw a dead cat today. Extremely strange and hard to witness.
Today █████ called, and we finally got a chance to talk after a few days of neither of us being able to make it. Things that were discussed:
S. ████████ said we need a Daily Manager
- Their task being to manage the facilitators, and check if they are doing their work properly.
- She also gave me an estimate on how much the role would cost.
- She told me she probably knows a few people who she can arrange a meeting for this week.
- In which we are both going to be present.
I asked her what she thinks we should have for the space, she said that she believes we first have to hire the daily manager and then go to think about the other things.
I asked her about an estimate on the cost of facilitators, she said she’ll give me an idea by today.
She also requested a meeting with Ashkan for around 20 minutes.
