I'm stressed, but I know I deserve it. The chicken I ate tonight was poor and I'm sure had suffered the worst of this world to be made to be eaten. And how many animals have I eaten so far? I deserve to suffer as much, and therefore I deserve no mercy and no forgiveness, and that is the worst part of this world. To know there is no god and all is a hallucination and everything is so unbearably horribly terrifyingly dark.